Make Your Feedback Give Back: The Art of Giving & Receiving Feedback

AdobeStock_170783849.jpeg

If you’ve been asked to ‘pull up your socks’, or given feedback that you weren’t anticipating, it can be hard. Universally, human beings have a natural defensive reaction to criticism and navigating around that instinct can prove challenging.

It’s not just feedback that is tricky. It’s the way that employers choose to express it. The right employers have structured work cultures that include regular employee reviews, a proactive and constructive approach to feedback, and systems that make their employees feel guided, supported, and nurtured professionally.

Truth is, giving feedback and receiving it has become a political dance — a work of art only mastered by the best leaders with the clearest business ethos and vision for tomorrow, and employees that feel encouraged and confident in their workplace dynamic.

Here are our top 3 tips for employers, and employees, looking to make feedback give back.

EMPLOYERS

1) Provide regularly scheduled feedback: Employees should know what’s coming ahead of time. In any positive workplace dynamic, or relationship, self-awareness is key. Often this comes through clear communication, between both parties, about what’s expected of the other and what needs have not been met. Don’t let the pot boil over in one, larger-than-life, slew of criticisms and label it an ‘annual review’. Not a good idea, friends.

2) Be constructive not destructive: Everyone knows who’s boss. Little good can come from trying to remind your peer in a destructive manner. Talking down to, shouting, or belabouring a point simply to make your employee remember how crappy it made them feel (forever) and fear you….yep…not the best approach. (What is it they say ‘rudeness is a sign of weakness and insecurity’?) If you want to lead, then lead by example and mobilize with thoughtfulness. Give feedback that combines the positive with the negative, and makes the negative an opportunity to learn — not to wallow.

3) Talk the talk & walk the walk: When you’re reviewing your employee you should be 100% certain that whatever you’re asking of them, you’re providing. Whether it’s consistency, clear communication, leading by example, being timely, deadlines, project ideation….whatever it is. You gotta talk the talk and walk the walk if you’re going to criticize your employee for not stepping up where you want them to. The best employers inspire through action — not just words.

EMPLOYEES

1) Be prepared & self-aware: Basically, be a professional. You should know what your strengths and weaknesses are and you should see the feedback that’s given to you coming a mile away before you even sit down to speak with your employer. If you don’t, it’s a sign you’re not looking hard enough or further to our initial point for employers (above), your employer hasn’t created the framework necessary to give you enough consistent feedback so that you are aware of where you stand. Either way, it may be time to start looking inwards (at improving your professional self-awareness) or outwards (at finding a new job somewhere that supports you).

2) Ask Questions: Asking for specific examples of when you were not on time, or when your project was lacklustre, can help you improve and show your employer that you’re going to use the feedback constructively. It will also help you determine if you can see the feedback from your peer’s perspective. If you can, this will make the feedback easier to digest and helpful in improving you professionally. If you can’t, then it could be time to figure out if what you consider to be unfair criticism is worth your time or helping you in any way. If not, it may be time to start opening yourself up to other job opportunities.

3) Be honest but don’t make excuses: If you weren’t anticipating a particular criticism, it’s okay to show that you disagree with it. That is, if there are valid reasons (objectively). Don’t just make excuses and list off all the reasons why you were late on a particular day, or you took a super long lunch another day. Don’t blame your peers, or bash your co-workers on the project. This is a time for you to flex your analytical skills and professionally explain yourself, not a time to argue that you are right and they are wrong. Beware: approach wisely.

Our final thoughts? Whatever feedback is given, in order for it to give back (help your employees improve and, in turn, add to the bottom line of your business) you have to be thoughtful, lead by example, constructive, and have all of the supportive tools, systems, and processes, in-place for the receiver of this feedback to actually improve. You can’t just ask your employee to run with feedback if there’s no clear path in sight. Most importantly, feedback should be consistently given and expected. If it’s not, you’re not yet the master you may have thought you were. Time to go back to the drawing board…